Abstruse September!

Oh September!! I’m not even sure where to begin….

I’ve never looked forward to end month like I did September! Jeeeezz.. I’ve never been so thankful for the small things in life; walking, turning in bed, brushing MY teeth MYSELF, sitting up unaided, doing bathroom breaks on own…EH SEPTEMBERRRR!!!

I’ve been in bed, not able to turn…lying on my back (a position which  had never gotten sleep comfortably) hoping I’ll get a little sleep tonight, praying that the month will go by really fast so that I see if my body will actually recuperate as the doctor and mum say….. God says He’s got this. I’m believing for the best even when it’s hard.

The other day I made two baby steps and my heart skipped with sooooo much joy! “I’m not lame,” I grinned to self. These tiny things matter!! A few days later, mum came to towel me and I challenged her that i could walk to the bathroom so we have a real bath…I felt so full energy and faith. In my little heart, I spoke to God and warned Him not to put His name to shame because I was trusting Him to walk me to the bathroom. She almost said no, but I had already stood up, waiting to hold her hand and walk…. I WALKED! Don’t ask me how, because I honestly have no answer. I WALKED to the bathroom, mum got me a chair and I had my evening bath in the right place. Much as I was getting tired, I didn’t complain because I was THRILLED!! Never in my life have I practically believed the phrase, “GOD’S GOT THIS!!!” After the bath, I WALKED back to the room and cried… GOD!!! His things are not to be understood by mortal man. Soon as I sat on the bed, I called and texted everyone that I could and broke the news…it felt like I had made it to heaven!! Sophy reminded me that God’s promises are true and that in her conversation with Him, He’d asked her to encourage me not to doubt that He is able. I almost thought I wasn’t the one in my skin. It felt new!! I can’t explain or express it…everytime I try, I just cry!

That night in bed, I turned and slept comfortably on my tummy! The day was full of miracles!! I was witnessing God’s hand at work LIVE! Forget that business of being told…it was me! Mere flesh…I was really overwhelmed. I grabbed my broken tab and read the 23rd psalm. He surely is My SHEPHERD. Not mommy’s, or Sophy’s or Yuhi’s…. God had held my hand and taken me to the streams of cool waters and here I was quenching my thirst. Undeserving Jinny!!!!!! God told me He’s got this, and He surely did have this!!! Next day, I got up a bit late, had my usual bowl of cereal and asked to be taken to the sitting room to watch television. Everyone knows the most I watch is the news. But here I was, asking to watch telly! Truth be told, I simply wanted to walk again. I was thrilled! I couldn’t stay in that bed another minute when I had a way to get out…I held onto someone and limped in pain to the sitting room. I didn’t even switch the telly on. LOL. I sat, texting and reading a few things online. When mommy found me, I was tired of sitting…my chest hurt like I’d been sat on by huge bags of stones. She wasn’t amused. She told me to take a day at a time and not strain my body. Who was she kidding?? I had to celebrate! She walked me back to bed and I dozed off rather quickly…I was knackered! I kept limping the rest of the days and one Sunday evening I sat out counting stars….it felt so amazing feeling the dusty breeze again! I wasn’t confined to bed anymore….I literally felt SET FREE! Consequently, I kept twisting and turning in bed and yes, I could now sleep on all sides. Yeah, even the side with the fractured leg. It hurt a little but it was exciting not just lying on my back day in, day out.

All these changes were exciting! I began to thank God for EVERY part of my body. God was restoring me as He promised! My brother came and assured me how my days as a princess were numbered. LOL. come to think of it, I had actually been living like a princess… I was so lucky to have so much love around me. Mum actually commented that I have many friends and I owe them! I really do! I’ll never be able to thank everyone as much but I’m grateful. I appreciate all the love everyone of you have shown. The visits that turned into late night talks, the noise you made in that room, the singing and karaoke that woke mommy up, the little favors, passing me pillows that were in arms reach, the games you recommended, the airtime and bundles, helping me stretch and sit up, bringing your little ones to make me smile and challenge me to sit up and walk, the tough love that made me cry, the phone calls, the social media mentions and PMs, the push to blog….. the list goes on and on….I owe you all! THANK YOU! May God reward you in even greater measure.

Now, I can have a hearty laugh and not feel any pain or fear that I’ll feel it later…. God has really been FAITHFUL! After many days of limping with pain and not giving up, I can now WALK! I CAN WALK UNAIDED, WITH NO PAIN! Who knew?? I honestly had lost hope at some point..I was beginning to learn to accept to being a cabbage. I know not another description of the helpless state in which  was… I questioned God, I cried myself to sleep on some nights, people tried to encourage me but it was hard….sometimes I wondered if they knew the state in which I was beneath the blanket. The fractures beneath the smile I wore…the tears behind the laughter when guests left…I was breaking, my spirit was rooting. I’d lost hope….but I remember warning God not to shame His daughter. I mean, how was I not going to walk and yet God had promised to heal me?? It was really hard at some point until I chose to lay it all at the cross and boy, didn’t work??

I’ve learnt not to worry. I’ve learnt to lay myself down and let God. I’ve learnt that faith in God is the best way to live.. there’s no other way! A few days ago,I needed to use the bathroom and when  called, nobody came to sort walk and yet my bowels were giving way….so I stood up to walk. I WALKED with a slight limp and managed. It was the grace of God. He definitely deafened the ears of those who I called because He knew I didn’t need them. I had Him..I walked in faith and He didn’t let me down. GOD has continuously overwhelmed me!!!! As days came by, I walked with a slight limp until I walked straight. With no limp, no pain and no support!!

I honestly am overwhelmed by God’s love! I can’t lie that I have been prayerful or behaved like a saint, NO! Far from it.God has just shown and taught me that HE IS GOD! He has healed me!! I can’t help crying everytime I realize that I’m no longer bedridden. I sit, eat, walk, do everything on my own. God has really been FAITHFUL!

I had my final review on Monday 5th of October. The doctor says I’ve recovered really well and fast and he’s given me the green light. Woohoooooo. You have no idea how excited I am. I can’t wait to walk to town despite that I have pending minor surgery. I AM HEALED!!  Time for that bungee jump!

Let me first take this in……

Later. Xxx

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The Rot That Is Kadic Hospital!

You’ve probably read from my previous blogs about the unfortunate accident in which a pioneer bus rammed into me and God spared my life! HURRAY! I sure am still here for a purpose. Titus 2!

Today, I’ll concentrate on the day of emergency…my experience in my time of emergency. Who knows, yesterday was me, tomorrow it could be you or your loved one.

The bus flashed lights at me and I just stopped the car. I knew I was FINISHED, A GONE CASE! Little did I know that God would give ne a second chance at life. I saw people trying to break into my car to get me out…I couldn’t quite make out what was happening until a gentleman told me to stay still until they got me out. He carried me in his strong arms like a baby and I felt excruciating pain so I asked him to “first wait” so I sleep a bit. Contrary to my demands, he told me not to sleep and asked for my mom’s number. I asked him not to call my mummy…mummy wouldn’t take this pressure. So I gave him my siblings’ numbers; Sophy’s, Yuhi’s and Zebzo’s. He mentioned that they were rushing me to the Mulago Hospital casuality ward but I refuted. I mumbled to him that Kadic was closer so he agreed. (Bless his soul)

I don’t remember much about the journey….I woke up in Kadic Hospital Bukoto. I woke up to a shouting nurse instructing me to remove my dress. I tried to lift my hands but failed. I recognized my brother Ian at my bedside. I asked him to get scissors and cut the dress, which he did so swiftly. He slitted the back of the dress… Then the nurse shouted that I lift my hands out, but I couldn’t. I was helpless. I asked Ian to slice the dress into pieces until it was off my body…. lucky, he did and the dress was finally off.

Next, I saw a needle near my eye…they were stitching a cut I had got. It was rather painful!! They didn’t bother to give me an anaesthetic, those evil nurses. Lucky, I was already in so much pain so this was a bit negligible. My whole body HURT! I was getting tired of breathing..my chest hurt, I wished I could be dead or paralysed. I looked at the ceiling all night and listened to all the other patients cry. I could hardly even make a sound…

Later, I was taken to the X-Ray room and a “very unclear diagram” of my ribs was taken. One broken rib was identified. My right leg hurt so bad, I couldn’t move it so I mumbled this to the nurse when she came that I might have a fracture. She asked me if I could feel the leg and I told her that I didn’t know..so she asked me to move my toes, which I did without difficulty and she concluded that the leg was fine. She said, “if you had a fractured limb you wouldn’t have been able to say. You’d have been wailing like a child.” I tried to keep myself together..the more I cried, the more pain I felt in the chest especially. In the meantime, I heard a nurse whispering to my elder sister Sophy about the different types of rooms they had and if she would consider taking me to the VVIP section which was an amount I didn’t even hear. She was more interested in selling! She was doing room sales instead of giving me the nursing care that I needed, this bloody nurse! If I could get my hands on her todayyyy!!!

The right side of my face too was swollen. I could hardly open my mouth..the nurse simply brought a tiny trough of water and instructed my mummy to massage. She didn’t bother to check for a fracture. So mummy said she wasn’t a nurse and had no clue on how to massage patients with fractures and swellings. So she came and pulled the trough away from her, lucky for her none of the hot water splashed on the little side of my face that wasn’t distorted. VERY LUCKY!

A few hours later, I couldn’t take the pain. I thought I was going to die…I wonder if people die from pain.lol. I signalled to a nurse passing by and she came. I gathered energy to speak! I could speak!! I had not lost my voice or teeth! HURRAYY, I COULD STILL SPEAK! So I requested for a pain killer and explained to her that I had kept awake all night because of pain. Then she went to bring a pain killer. Wait for it… she came back empty handed so I thought the doctor was coming behind her to administer it. Boy, wasn’t I joking?!? When she reached my bedside, she reached into her pocket and gave me two fat panadol tablets!! She was holding them in her hands. Here I was, an accident victim, being handed PANADOL! Maybe if it had been panadol extra…. I WAILED!!  I don’t even know where I got the energy to cry this time. I began to lose even the little hope I had left. I just turned to mummy and shouted at her that we leave and go to Mulago and die happy. I threw the panadol tablets on the floor and the nurse walked away. Mom stayed at my bedside and tried to calm me down and soothed me to stop crying and preserve the little energy I had left. Luckily, my sister, Yuhi walked in with a friend. Her friend is a doctor! So he did a few checks, I told him everything I thought was amiss and started crying because of my leg that I had failed to move. He calmed me down and assured me that everything would be well..that I would walk again. None of this made sense at this point in time! I don’t even know how I didn’t hit a depression at this point…. anyway, Dr. Friend (I can’t disclose the name for Yuhi’s privacy) advised mummy to ask for a referal to Nsambya hospital where he would request his colleagues to monitor us. Soon the bill was brought and mom requested for their ambulance so that im transferred to Nsambya hospital. Before she could even finish her statement, they told her the price we would have to pay for it. They asked for about UgShs. 500,000/- five hundred thousand Uganda shillings.I doubt even their driver gets that much. The cost was unreasonably high! So mom called her bosses (lucky for us, she works with a hospital) and requested for an ambulance which was sent over in less than ten minutes!! Mom requested for a stretcher on which I was to be carried on to the ambulance and they REFUSED! THE MANAGEMENT OF KADIC HOSPITAL BUKOTO REFUSED TO GIVE US A STRETCHER! Here I was, an accident victim that couldn’t sit up or even turn in bed…I could only sleep on my back!! Anyway, the ambulance driver that had come to pick us then went back into his car to dismantle the stretcher from the car and when he got to the entrance, they told him he couldn’t bring it in. So one nurse brought us a wheel chair. *sigh*  I was carried and placed into to the wheel chair and taken to the ambulance. I was in PAIN!!! Yikes! On getting to the ambulance, mom requested for nurses to come and help lift me into the ambulance and they REFUSED!! They answered, “the ambulance should have an ambulance attendant.” So the driver came and carried me onto the stretcher….the PAIN!! But I survived. Somehow! We got to Nsambya hospital in no time, nurses came running with a stretcher and carried me into the emergency room. The doctor asked me what had happened and all I said was that a pioneer bus rammed into me… so he asked if I had been given a shot of  Tetanus Toxide (sp) and I hadn’t so he quickly gave me one. The bloody medics at Kadic hadn’t cared to imunise me, even with all the cuts and bruises I had all over my body!! The doctor then went ahead to ask me what hurt as he took notes and sympathised with me. (bless his soul) God knows I needed to re-awaken the hope lost. He then instructed the nurses to take me for scans and X-Rays and off they wheeled me.  

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I’m trying to smile….

I’ve been looking forward to this week….. the week when mom returns to work and I have to do things my own! The week when this sweet mother of mine has to endure a taxi because her car is no more *sob*  because of a careless bus driver…

Mom resumed work on Monday. She was up early, a little earlier than usual actually. She came and asked if I needed anything from her before she’d head out and I was good, so I wished her a beautiful day and off she went, my darling mama. The day went quite well. Today, I bullied Safari to give me a tiny portion of food. Lol. I’m tired of eating healthy, I miss my junk! Today, Joanne came to see me and it really warmed my heart. She’s one of the people I least expected. And she brought me fries! My heart leaped with joy! I ate them stealthily lest mum found me… Today, I sat up almost all day playing “Word Brain”, a game Martin and Es introduced me to. Monday’s been good. I can’t really complain. I’m glad recovery as they call her has come to share a bed with me! Sophy left the country this evening…I will miss her. Sooooo much, it hurts!

On Tuesday, I woke up with blocked nostrils…the last person I spoke to the previous night was my new bestie. New bestie had allergies *grin* There was something about Tuesday. I woke up in high spirits! I turned a but in bed! Everything about the morning just seemed perfect! I stood up, made two steps, YES, TWO STEPS! I WALKED! I’M NOT LAME, I WALKED! It doesn’t matter that I got tired right after and fell back onto the bed, my right limb moved!I screamed with sooooo much joy and mom came running, scared and she found me holding a towel she hadn’t given me. I told her I had taken a step and we celebrated together. Mothers are such heroes, eh! We then prayed and mom had to leave for work. I texted my bosoms and they were all happy with me! Sophy reminded me that Jesus cares and that He will heal me. I called mom later in the day to ask what time she’d be back and unfortunately, I messed up her day. My sweet mommy…She was scared something was amiss. I was only checking on her coz she was complaining about the pain in her legs…I needed her to know that I care but looks like I messed her up instead. At least by the end of the phone call I knew that she was ok and the day was going well for her.

Today has been good and rough in one….I almost questioned God’s love..I almost wondered if He really cared. I wonder what He’s trying to teach me…. well today, Dorothy came by and we had a very constructive conversation. We talked about life and age! We are a few years from the big 30! And boy, isn’t it scary? Well, a little exciting too. I’m thankful to God that He’s teaching me what He wants of me..And I’m glad I’m more aware of what I want in life. Enough with meaningless friendships and people that don’t care about others. I’m learning to let go of people to whom I’m not adding much value and those that don’t matter. Life has taught me that quality over quantity any day!

Back to recovery; today I walked on one leg. LOL. I can almost say I qualify to be a ninja. Mom and Dorothy helped carry me out.. I saw the beauty that are clouds and the sun and grass. Who knew I’d miss these?? Lol. When Dorothy had to leave, she helped bring me back in and then I started feeling a sudden discomfort in my bladder and was in tears…..Mom came and noticed the “urine thing” was empty. But everything seemed intact. I was crying hysterically, the pain was unbearable. Dorothy who was her way out was now also in tears so she said her goodbyes and left… after a few minutes, the catheter fell out! I couldn’t help but wail. Mom, who was trying to help fit it back fell down. Her frail legs had given way….My angel was on the ground, helpless! And she stealthily crawled out of my room so I don’t see her in pain. I can’t explain how I felt in that moment. We were both down, helpless. I called out for my cousin, but mom needed her too. Even more than I did.She needed her too help her wear her knee brace so the pain would go down. I needed her too hold my leg so I could slide into my bed… Sophy isn’t in the country so I have nobody to call…Yuhi must be busy work….Today was just hard! I really can’t stop asking God what lesson it is that I am taking the harsh way….why, God, whyyyyyyy? I know I’m not right at heart, and I’ve asked that you make it right….

Let me first put myself together then I can go on with the writing……

Grrrrrrrrrr

That’s how I woke up feeling today… I was up at 6:30 am to get ready for church but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t sit out of bed on my own..Noooooooooo this can’t be happening to me! I’m missing the first service at church.Grrrrrrrrrr. I wish there was a way I’d ask mom to take me..But how? I bashed her baby love. Today just feels pathetic….I’m hitting a low.

I want to cry my heart out…..going I’ll feel better but will I?Grrrrrrrrrr today is not a good day…why, Lord??

And then so many people are asking for directions to come see me….I wish I’d be on my own today. just today, people. Seeing all of you in good cheer and walking will break my heart..

I was woken up later for my morning bowl of cereal after which I got a terrible tummy…And yet I can’t walk to the bathroom.Grrrrrrrrrr…..Today just isn’t for me.

Now mom’s here with the daily rules; I have an hour to down a litre of Lucozade. Grrrrrrrrrr. It just sucks to be sick and unwell. I want to cry….I feel depressed. How can I not walk Lord, how??

Today is really trying hard to rob the joy the girls left me with yesterday. I sat up all evening with no support and I didn’t feel tired for over five hours! Nina, Irene and Bex, you three made me feel so blessed!

Let me start on this lucozade before mom comes back to supervise.

In a bit, xxx

Ice cream turned broken bones

Hmmmm I’m still trying hard to figure out how this works but eeeh… I remember the time everyone was talking about how nice Beewol’s website was so I  peeped  and must say I like what I saw. I’ve been meaning to start writing but procrastination got a hold of me.sometimes even when I wasn’t exactly doing anything,I felt I was too busy to sit down and write. Now I have no excuse… today, I went to Jemimah’s blog and I think it’s cool..but nobody has ever said. They only talk about Beewol. Hehehe. Anyway I’ll get there…here goes my story;

On Sunday evening, mum came to my room and asked if I wanted to take a walk with her and I boldly said, “I would have come but you bore me lately”  LOL So she went ahead and went with my cousin Safari who helps us around home (bless her soul). A few minutes later, I was really bored so I got up and told Ian I was going to watch a movie at the cinema at acacia mall or have ice cream.

When I got to Ntinda, I figured Javas Banda was nearer so I opted for ice cream. Little did I know what the evening had in store for me! When I got to Javas, I sat at the raised tables. The ones at the extreme that are like bar tables and stools. I had mint ice cream, my favorite carrot cake and a bottle of water. I remember that evening sooooo vividly like it was an hour ago! When I got fine,I cleared my cheque and off I went. I sat back into the car ready to begin my ride back home.

Soon as I joined the lane, a pioneer bus flashed it’s head lights at me…it was coming into my lane..I just moved to the extreme left, almost into the trench and put my head on the steering wheel and mumbled, “Jesus take the wheel.” And I meant it! I couldn’t do anything else in my own power. A few minutes later, people were carrying me and asking for my mom’s phone number and saying I had been involved in an accident. Accident?? I mumbled as I recited Sophy and Yuhi’s numbers. A while later, I heard mum’s voice and woke up and started crying and told her I was sorry…I had crushed her “baby green” her beautiful Rav4 was no more. And there I was, lying in a hospital bed with broken ribs, a broken pelvis, a fractured jaw and a few bruises that were oozing blood.

There were a number of people around my bed but I could hardly recognise them. I only remember a few. Martin, trying to carry me and the pain was un bearable so I let out a loud cry, PTwino kept asking me to smile even when I could hardly understand, I heard Phibz telling my new bestie to say bye, and Sophy! Sophy called me “Bebi”… And she said I’d be fine. She also told me to smile. That she missed my smile! LOL. Shortly, the room was empty and quiet so I managed to rest my mind a bit… but it was almost impossible.I was in unbearable pain. My chest hurt like there were a thousand men seated on it. I asked the nurse at Kadic to give me a pain killer and she refused. She said I’d be ok. Luckily mom asked for a transfer and we went to Nsambya hospital. The ride in the ambulance was not easy… every part of my body hurt! And the pot holes didn’t make it any easier!

We got to Nsambya and I was taken straight to the doctor’s room to whom I explained the whole ideal to and he was pitiful…but heck, I didn’t need pity. I needed medicine to put the pain at bay! The doctor did a few check ups and I was taken to the xray room to have a few shots captured. I found Phibz and my heart skipped. My bosom was here! She had managed to gather almost her whole family had come to see me! Just me! The bishop’s wife was here to see me! My heart skipped with joy and I cried…tears of joy. God bless them my Mutebis! After the xrays were done, I was taken to the ward and admitted. I managed to get some rest that night. I had been given pain killers that did magic. I slept well.

I only remember tit bits while in Nsambya. Charity came to see me! She brought me a huge basket of flowers from her and Liza. The only ones I received while in hospital…. I looked at her and my eyes welled up again! I couldn’t contain the joy she’d brought to my heart. Unfortunately, she came when I was on the way to do a scan so I was wheeled away on the stretcher to the ultra scan room and I found her gone so I didn’t get to say thanks. I kept crying. She really touched the softest part of my heart and I couldn’t help myself. Mom asked why I couldn’t stop crying and I just said I was in unbearable pain so she tried to soothe me. LOL

So many people kept coming in to see me but I was really low….I couldn’t walk or stretch out to hug them, I was unhappy… Then Es, Bernard and onion came in and they made so many stale jokes about how I looked and how hard I was that I’d survived such an ordeal.They managed to get the smiles out of me…I laughed from within! Even mom was surprised. I hadn’t seen Es in a while. For some reason, we never honored our appointments to meet and life went on…it warned my heart that she was here…She still cared!  Then my new bestie came in with Dennis. I wanted to jump out of bed and hug them, but I could hardly even lift a finger to give the peace sign. I was happy. People cared! Sophy came in and she was all smiles when she saw me smile. I was happy to see her, I wanted to cry but she just wouldn’t let me…I asked her how work was going and she said she was taking the week off to nurse me with mum and see me recapitulate..I wanted to cry…but she just wouldn’t let me. God bless her soul. Yuhi came by with a doctor friend of hers who did a few checks and reassured me that I’d be well soon. I cried when I saw her…I have a soft spot for her. Don’t ask me why. Well, she’s my sister.Lol.

After a few days, I suggested to mom that we be discharged as I think recovering from home takes a shorter time and guess what, she agreed! So we’re going home the following day. Jackie came by at some point and a bright light shone in my face. She said hi and I just broke down and cried. She was walking and I wasn’t…I couldn’t walk! My pelvis  bone betrayed me! I’m confined to my bed. SOB!  Kawoman brought us musururu today. It tasted very nice! She made me laugh and lightened me up!

We’ve been discharged and I’m  finally home. It feels so good to be here. So many people came to see me today.. one uncle bishop came by and while we prayed, mom broke down. When he asked her why she cried she said, “life is rather unfair. After your children have grown and are trying so hard to make it in life, the devil tries hold them down.” I felt so bad.I pray  God will strengthen both of us…we need it.

The following day mom came to wake me up for breakfast. I asked her whether she wasn’t going to be late for work and she gave me a priceless answer, “I’ll return to work when you can do things on your own-when you are better” my heart skipped with joy! I have such an amazing mom….And siblings! They care about me. Even my cousin Flavia is over to help me as I can hardly do much on my own.

Some days are better than others, today I sat on my own! I didn’t lean against anything or any one. I was so excited, I called mom out. She came and was filled with joy.She was so happy, she hugged me. And she reassured me that I’ll walk again…In due time. Recovery does need patience, eh! It takes time!

Like I said some days are better than others. On some I feel sooooo sick,I cry and sleep in the whole day. But there’s a particular day I was feeling so low….I spoke to Sophy and my new bestie about it. They helped encourage me and told me to take a day at a time and not be hard on self. God knows  they’ve been there and I appreciate them with all my heart. Then there’s Ronald! He’s been such good cheer. The other day we were talking and he reminded me about God’s unending undying love for me. God cares. God will give me back my yesterdays and all this time spent in bed.

The recovery journey is going to take a while….So while I wait for bestie to deliver the novels he promised, I decided to blog. There are so many people I can’t mention that have been there, checked on me sent texts and all…I appreciate the love! Thank you!

Till later, xx